TAPSLAUGHT #2

"Yasmin!" Wary of drawing TAPSLAUGHT's attention, she dropped her voice. "What're you doing here?"

"Getting my laptop thrashed and trying to keep getting ignored by that thing apparently," she answered in a resigned tone. "Say, you don't happen to have a piece of paper, do you?"

A hand reached out from under the sleeping bag and held out a crumpled notebook.

"Thanks, Frito." Yasmin scribbled furiously, and within a few seconds a new laptop appeared at her feet. She sat on the rubble-strewn ground (after cursing and throwing a jagged piece of brick) and began to type.

Mitai sat down beside her, hoping that the car woukd at least give them some protection against TAPSLAUGHT's wrath. She vaguely wondered why she was thinking in capital letters, but dismissed it as the laptop's display caught her eye.

"What's that?"

"My laptop is linked to the Subreality Satellite," Yasmin explained. "At least, I hope it still is. It was during a RR about a fictive who had AIDS and Legacy. Poor guy, I wonder how's he doing right now." She ran a diagnostic check, scrolling down a list. "We're linked!"

The other Writer studied the map, noting that the bright yellow letters denoting the names of Writers were getting noticeably fewer every few minutes. TAPSLAUGHT was highlighted in red. A SD Storm hovered over the name, fists crackling with lightning.

Re: Tapslaught #2

"This is not good," muttered Yasmin.

"Isn't that obvious? Why do you need this, anyway?"

"Mitai, think about it. Onslaught didn't stop with the X-Men. You think that TAPSLAUGHT's gonna stop at Subreality Cafe when the whole of Subreality can be at her mercy? This way we can at least track her down, and keep count of the surviving Writers."

"Boy, this is a change from your hysterical self just a few minutes ago," piped her Muse.

"Captain? Shut. Up."

They winced as screams made its way through the thickening air. Something unidentifiable and smoking landed on the window of Frito's car.

I have a feeling I'm going to do something suicidal, Mitai thought.

"We have to tell the others!" she said. "Maybe it'll help stop her."

"As long as it doesn't involve dying, I'm ready," said Yasmin, decisively getting to her feet.

(S) Seraph watched the slaughter for a few seconds more, absently taking in details for a few violent fanfictions that were swimming around in her brain.

'Seraph, I think it's time to leave,' her brain muttered.

'Brain, I think you're right,' Seraph muttered back.

For once taking the advice of her mind rather then just winging it (pun intended, people), Seraph set off across the car park away from the carnage.

'You know, any minute now someone's going to notice you leaving,' her brain informed her.

'Stealth mode?' Seraph questioned her brain.

'Stealth mode,' her brain agreed.

Seraph disappeared from sight.

Meta: What? So I'm talking to myself, you got a problem with that? ;o). Don't worry, I haven't gone insane, just a little weird. What can I say, it's about 12:00 at night here. :o) Ahh, there's nothing like a little insanity to clear the mind.

Actually, I think that last bit just voided my whole denial of insanity. Hmm, maybe I need to go think this through.

No, I don't want to wear the lovely purple straitjacket. What, it has sparkles! (Suspicious look) Are they silver sparkles? 'Cause I don't like gold.

I get to ride in the nice white van! YAY!

Okay, I'm going now, the nice men in the white coats say I can have a ride in their van if I come along nice and quiet like.

(Y) "Oh, it'll be fun, they said. You'll do fine, they said. Don't worry, they said."

Mitai groused as she followed Yasmin and the Muse she'd heard so much about, gathering up anything that looked like a Writer and had at least three of the five major appendages still attached. Well, it had to have a head, for sure. Legs and arms were optional.

She glanced at Yasmin, looking at _something_ still twitching, then shaking her head and moving on.

"I'm still confused." Mitai kept her voice low. "We can keep track of her, but what good'll that do? I mean, we have a TAPSLAUGHT here, right? Don't we need a Franklin Richards or something?" I'm talking in capital letters, Mitai thought, then shrugged as Yasmin's Muse coughed, staring at the remains of a table and something...sticky...before her.

"That's...that's pretty," she managed. Yasmin didn't look.

"If we know where she is, we could plan an ambush. Or not get caught in one."

Duh, Mitai thought. She then promptly tripped over the cornerstone of a building and skinned her hand. Sheash, I went to all the trouble to name myself after a bloody assassin, and when I get here, do I get the skills? No-o. Didn't even bring a pen. People are going to die for this. If I don't first.

Since she really had no other logical course of action, and it wasn't likely she could find her way back to the portals, she just sighed and picked at a particularly shocked-looking eyeball stuck to the bottom of her hiking boots.

"Lead on, Yasmin."

(Ly) LyssJean growled and picked herself out from under the wreckage of a table. "Damn. I finally get a vaccie, 'cause the Writer's involved with RL, and what happens? A bloody crisis! Why are Writers allowed to have delusions of grandeur?"

She surveyed the area around her, noting that the parking lot was still standing. Lyss grinned as she spotted Yasmin and Mitai wander off of it with her fellow Muse. She turned back to the rubble and looked around. Dande, the herald of TAPSLAUGHT and her cohort Pook Ming, were lining Writers up in alphabetical order -- Pook providing musical accompaniment, on her kazoo.

"Hmph. How annoying. Hey, you! Yeah, you who used to have a bucket on your head!! I am *not* amused!"

TAPSLAUGHT turned to stare at her.

SILENCE

"I'm on my vacation! What give's you the right to rampage on *MY* vacation!! And, you didn't just knock down the Cafe, oh, no, you also destroyed the bar!!!"

SILENCE, MORTAL

Herald Dande approached her, frowning, "You're on this list somewhere. Just be quiet until the boss can get to you."

"Quiet? Mortal?" Her voice was a growl, "*do you know who I am??* I am a MUSE! I am *not* mortal!" She paused, and grinned evilly, "And aside from that, I'm really ticked. And, I'm a Knight of...NI!" The ripped T-shirt and jeans abruptly metamorphosed into black silk and feathers. The Muse stood there, smiling nastily. "You've really picked a bad day to tick me off. NI!"

The Knight was suddenly towering over Dande, who squeaked and backed up.

"Oi, TAPSLAUGHT! NI!"

STOP THAT

"NI! NI! NI!"

ARGH! TAPSLAUGHT doubled over in pain.

"NI! Remember, never pick on a Knight who says...NI!" Lyss yelled at her.

Herald Dande looked up at her as TAPSLAUGHT groaned even harder, "Stop it!"

"Don't say that!" the Knight gasped. "NI!"

STOP IT

"AH! You said that word again!" The Knight was looking pained.

SAID IT? WHAT?

"Arg!" Lyss whimpered. "Stop saying that."

IT

"Aoh!"

IT

The Knight crumpled, shrinking to her former size, "Ni," she whispered.

IT

The claw smashed her into the air and sent her tumbling into the Other Side.

"See? I told you the boss would win," Herald Dande said, smugly. Pook added a derisive toot on her kazoo, and they went back to lining people up.

(F) Fancy dusted herself off as she rose to her feet. She glanced around and noticed Yona heading for ground zero of what was left of the cafe.

"She's nuts," remarked Fancy to Azzy.

Azzy just nodded as she, too, watched Yona. Then she seemed to come to her senses and turned to Fancy.

"Where did you come from?"

"I was on my way into the cafe when it got destroyed. I was lucky enough to be blown clear." She frowned and surveyed the landscape. "Should we do something?"

"Like what?"

"I AM FANCY..."

Azzy shook her head. "We tried that al ready."

"Oh," answered Fancy a little crestfallen. "Well how about, I AM MIGHTY?"

Azzy clamped a hand over Fancy's mouth. "Shhh! You'll draw attention to us! Are you trying to get us killed?"

"Mphfff..." answered Fancy.

"What? Oh sorry," replied Azzy as she removed her hand.

"Well, let me check my pockets," said Fancy hopefully. "Let's see...gum, a penlight, some change, gummi bears...you know, if I was McGyver I could make something out of this to save us!"

Azzy looked at Fancy suspicously. "Why do you have gummi bears?"

Fancy flushed slightly and looked away. "Um, well, you know I never got to see the slippers...I just wanted to get a chance to see them..."

Azzy shook her head and then tensed up. "Is that kazoo getting louder?"

Azzy and Fancy spun around to face an irritated looking Dande and a piping Ming.

Dande tapped her foot impatiently. "You two are being disruptive to the process. I can still go alphabetically by last name you know."

Then Dande looked at Azzy, glancing at her clipboard. "Shouldn't you be over..."

Just then the booming of TAPSLAUGHT could be heard.

::DANDE! THE LINE ISN'T MOVING!::

"Oops, got to run. But I'll be back for you. Ming, a march if you will."

Ming struck up a rousing marching tune on the kazoo as the two emissaries of TAPSLAUGHT retreated.

"Whew! That was close!" breathed Fancy, wiping her head.

"Yeah, well it's about to get worse," griped Azzy.

"Oh, how's that?"

"I think Mitai and Yasmin are forming a cell and they're heading our way."

(Y) "Boss-lady?"

"Don't call me 'boss-lady,'" Yasmin said automatically. Noticing that her Muse's answer was somewhat quieter than usual, she turned towards her. The Muse's blue eyes were slightly glazed, staring at nothing.

"What's wrong with her?" Mitai asked.

The Muse known only as 'Captain' frowned, lips twisted in pain. "One of my sisters is in trouble." She whirled, pointing to where a woman lay amongst the rubble. "There!"

"Shh!" Yasmin hissed. "You'll bring TAPSLAUGHT down on us."

"But..."

"We can't help her now. We don't have even one bloody weapon, save my laptop. Regrouping's our first priority." The Writer took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

Mitai cut through the tension with a whispered, "Look -- there's Fancy and Azzy."

"Thank God not everyone's in line yet," Yasmin said fervently as they jogged to the two Writers.

"Hey," Fancy greeted.

"How's the resistence going?" Azzy asked sardonically.

"Terrible," chorused the other two.

"Not bad," said the Muse.

They stared at her for a while, then turned their attention to the laptop's screen. The Writers were getting fewer every couple of minutes, punctuated by screams and airborne limbs.

"She's up to 'G' now," said Mitai, wincing.

Yasmin was aghast. "We have to save at least some of the Writers, or we might just as well throw ourselves at her!"

Azzy pointed at the names. "Some of the more powerful Writers are still here."

"Yeah, but how do we get them out of TAPSLAUGHT's clutches?"

They ruminated on the problem, trying to hit on a solution that would leave them alive, preferably with their bodies intact. The list was very short.

"Umm..." Yasmin hesitated. "How about we create an amalgam of our most powerful fictives, and set him/her/it on TAPSLAUGHT?"

"What powerful fictives?"

"Point."

Mitai clutched Yasmin's shoulders. "Indigo and Ramiel're still on the loose. Maybe we should find them?" She squinted at the screen. "And who is that with them?"

"The more the merrier."

"Especially when you're being digested by TAPSLAUGHT," Azzy muttered.

(M) "Hey...uhr, Yasmin?"

The Writer barely glanced her way, studying the carnage and her laptop. Captain was still frowning at the rocks and hugging herself.

"Mmm?"

Mitai gambled. Good idea, bad idea. "What would happen if we got rid of the Herald?"

(Y) Yasmin thought for a while, idly pressing a finger to her lips. "Well..." she said slowly. "There're two possibilities."

"And they are?" Mitai raised an eyebrow.

"One: TAPSLAUGHT gets really mad, and fries us immediately. Two: TAPSLAUGHT gets really mad, toys with us for a while, then fries us."

"Oh." The other Writer looked crestfallen.

"Of course, it'll give the Writers a chance to escape while they still can. Hmm...why don't we try and see?"

Uh-oh, Mitai thought.

(Me) Fortune tried to scrunch down, but simply re-established that it is impossible to bend at all when lying on your back under a table, and about half a roof. In the distance she could hear a kazoo. Closer there was some whispering.

"Whadya say we take this thing down?"

"If we must." Fortune recognised that as the voice of a Phoenix. There was a shifting of weight, and a voice called from above her somewhere.

"TAPSLAUGHT!!! Fight me, don't victimize people with less power!!"

Fortune attempted desperately to dissolve.

"YOU?"

"Me!"

There was the sound of a kazoo, and the weight over Fortune shifted again.

"Right, boss. Now we're looking for, uh, Yasmin," one of the heralds said.

Fortune tried not to breath as ash sifted down over her face.

~Oh great, now I'm inhaling Phoenix, it's got to be illegal in most states~ she thought, trying to avoid thinking about who might be inhaling Yasmin soon...

(F) Fancy laughed sarcastically. "You know, when I created this avatar I forgot to give myself any special powers. I can't fly, I can't turn invisible, I can't talk to imaginary people and I can't handle a bottomless pitcher of beer. Azzy and I saw Dande and Ming up close once than that was one time too many!"

The captain raised an eyebrow at Fancy's mention of imaginary people. "Was that a slur?" she asked suspiciously.

"And you have a better suggestion?" asked Yasmin. "Because I'm open at this point."

"Yeah, run, run, run, RUN!!!!"

"And just where will we go? If TAPSLAUGHT isn't stopped we'll never be safe."

"She has a point, "chimed in Azzy.

"And what if she escapes to reality? Then no one will be safe."

"Um, again, a point," Azzy said.

"I hate it when people have points," grumbled Fancy. "Did I mention we could always run?"

Mitai looked Fancy up and down. "Look, are you with us or not? If you want to go hide, that's your business, but we are going to do something!"

"Hey! What's this we stuff," snapped Azzy. "You could ask, you know!"

"Oh sorry. Azzy, are you with us?"

"Um, I'm undecided. When you have a plan, I'll let you know."

"Fine," grumbled Fancy. "I'm in, I guess, provided we come up with a plan that doesn't involve me singing naked backdropped by the desert sky. Or dying!"

Yasmin's eye glinted mischievously. "No guarantees about the singing. We'll see what we can do about the dying."

"Maybe we should find some more back-up before coming up with a plan," suggested Mitai.

"And find someone who can turn my penlight and Chiclets into a weapon of mass destruction," chimed in Fancy holding up her assorted treasures.

"And save what few writers there are left," added Azzy.

"Why don't we see if we can get the fictives to take their writer's place in line?" suggested Fancy. "That would buy us some time!"

(Ro) "Ow, incredible intense agony," moaned Rowan from where he was slowly approaching the Subreality Cafe.

"WHAT IN THE FOUR REALMS HAPPENED HERE!!!!????" Rowan practically yelled as he saw the damaged remains of the cafe. "This is just too much. I finally escape from the Uncreated Cafe only to find that in my absence this entire place has been blown to Kingdom Come."

With everything that had recently happened, something had to go. It was his sanity.

"THAT'S IT!!! NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!!! WHOEVER DID SHALL PAY DEARLY!!! SO SWEARS ROWAN THE DARK ELF, MODERATOR OF THE SUBREALITY CAFE."

"HERALDS, ATTACK HIM. HE DARES TO USE CAPITAL LETTERS IN MY PRESENCE. FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION HE SHALL PAY," TAPSLAUGHT declared.

"Sure thing boss," Dande replied as Pook Ming played a threatening note on the Kazoo of Doom.

Rowan, realizing the Heralds of TAPSLAUGHT outnumbered him, decided to use the most damaging weapon he had. Celine Dion songs.

"Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you, That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance And spaces between us You have come to show you go on."

Dande and Pook Ming were beginning to show signs of pain.

"Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go till we're one

Love was when I loved you One true time I hold to In my life we'll always go on."

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Dande yelled.

"Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear And I know that my heart will go on We'll stay forever this way You are safe in my heart And my heart will go on and on."

With a shriek of agony, Dande and Pook Ming fell against the onslaught of bad music.

"HA HA!!! WHO DARES CHALLENGE ME NOW?" Rowan crowed.

"I DO."

"Eeep," Rowan said as he laid eyes for the first time upon TAPSLAUGHT. TAPSLAUGHT was a sight mighty to behold. So mighty that sanity returned to Rowan, who now realized that he was in deep trouble.

With one swat of TAPSLAUGHT'S mighty hand, Rowan went flying in the general direction of Yasmin M. and co.

(Y) "You had to sing That Song, didn't you?"

"Grrghhrrl," said Rowan, trying to unglue his eyes. Automatically, he did a system check. Head: concussed, arms: still there, legs: still there, torso: ouch-that's-gonna-hurt, overall: alive and hurting.

He finally managed to open his eyes, and was treated to the sight of a woman who looked like a taller, more muscular Gillian Anderson. She raised an eyebrow at him, saying, "I mean, 'My Heart Will Go On?! Now that's flying over the stupidity horizon and accelerating."

"Would...you...rather...I...sing...'Achy-Breaky Heart'?"

She winced. "You have a point there. I'm the Captain, by the way. Yasmin's Muse."

Rowan tried to move, but gave in to his body's protest. "Where's she?"

The Muse pointed to a group of somewhat bedraggled Writers. They were clustered around a few fictives, who looked as if they would prefer to throw themselves into a volcano crater. Yasmin was holding a purple wig and arguing with a Cecilia Reyes fictive.

"Come on! Where's your sense of sacrifice?" she said, trying to sound persuasive-without-manipulative.

Cecilia crossed her arms and glared. So did the other fictives.

"Uh, what exactly are they trying to do?" asked Rowan.

"They're trying to get the fictives to take places of the Writers." At his horrified look, the Muse said defensively, "Fictives can be resurrected. Writers -- doubtful. We're trying to save at least some of them."

The smell of something sizzling made them both turn green.

"And quickly," she added.

(Ly) LyssJean moaned. ~Oh, ick!~ She'd landed in a pile of rubble that had once been the bar of the Subcafe. Seltzer water soaked through to her skin all down the right side. She sat up carefully.

Off in the distance, she could sense her sister Muse. ~Captain. I should go find her, and join whoever she's with.~ The fact that Captain was still alive was a good sign that her Writer was, too. ~And, we're going to need the Writers, if we're to make it out of here alive.~

Carefully, she stood and reached out to the fabric of Subreality. About to fold it, she stopped. ~Wait. Prolly not a good idea to attract Tapslaught's attention to the nature of Subreality. I'll have to do this the old-fashioned way.~ Gently releasing the fabric, she walked in the opposite direction of Captain and the crew with her.

~Best to go this way for a bit, then I'll angle over...~

In the distance, she could here the Writers and various fictives screaming as she made her way obliquely towards Captain. Over the screaming, vaguely could be heard the sound of a kazoo.

< "Come on! Where's your sense of sacrifice?" >

It was the first thing Lyss heard as she rounded a corner. Yasmin stood harranguing a group of fictives. A Cecelia Reyes stood there, glaring. Her sister Muse, Captain, stood next to a rather battered looking young man. Others milled around, listening to the argument.

"Please?" Yasmin pleaded. "It would save Subreality!"

"I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree, my dear."

"Oh?" Yasmin turned to her, looking frustrated. "And you think you can do any better?"

"Um. Maybe. I do know that you really need to get some of the Avengers and Fantastic Four fictives, though, if you want decoys." Lyss closed her eyes for a moment. "They're all terribly self- sacrificing, you know."

"Lyssie!" Captain bounced over, happy. "You okay?"

Lyss hugged her. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Thou called, milady?" Blonde, tall, blue-eyed, the Thunder Goddess stood there.

"Ah, Thora, please call all Avengers and Fantastic Four personnel you can," Lyss instructed.

"Right-o, milady." Thora raised her hammer and sprang into the air. Reaching height, she cried out, "AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!"

"Drat. I should have told her to move away from us, first," Lyssie muttered. "Let's move, shall we?"

A young woman -- ~Mitai~ Lyss thought -- seemed about to say something. "Yes?"

"Who put you in charge?" she demanded.

"I'm not. It's common-sense to move away from a section of high-risk," Lyssie responded. "Oh." Mitai shrugged.

"Um, Lyssie? Before we try to move, do you think you can help me put something together to get Rowan out of here?" Captain stood next to her, looking at the young man, worriedly.

Lyss studied him. "Damn. Yeah, hang on." Together, they searched and found some suitable pieces of rubble. Binding them, they formed a makeshift litter.

Yasmin's head suddenly snapped up. "Oh, crap. Captain, the rest of you, we need to get out of here, yesterday!"

(Re) "Hrmmm..." A petite blonde rubbed the small of her back, and leaned against a car to look at a handdrawn map she pulled from her back pocket. She didn't notice the line of dwindling writers that were being creatively slaughtered.

"Huh? Why do I hear...a kazoo?" The faint-but-quickly-regaining-its- former-enthusiasm sound puzzled her. She shrugged it off, and went back to reading the map. "Hrmm..the Cafe _should_ be he..." The smoking rubble, (as well as a keg that landed not less than five feet away from her) finally garnered the appropriate attention. "Alcohol abuse," she muttered as the scent of Guiness reached her nose. "What happened here?!"

A hand emerged from under a nearby sleeping bag, waving a crushed piece of paper. Renn took it, and read quietly.

'TAPSLAUGHT.'

"O-kay..and what's going on over there?" Even though whoever it was that was hiding so effectively at the moment (Frito) couldn't see where Renn was waving at, a new sheet of just-as-crushed paper emerged.

'Heroics in a very strange manner. What else can you expect from this lot?'

"Thanks." Renn glanced up as the buzzing of the kazoo drew close. A heraldish figure popped the instrument out of her mouth, and waved a recently appropriated clipboard.

"You are...?"

Neither winced as a body flew overhead. Dande had gotten the line moving again.

"Just visiting." Renn grinned a little, and watched with interest as Dande marched over.

"Give that clipboard back!"

"But..Daaaaande," Ming pouted, and tried out the cutest baby-herald- to-TAPSLAUGHT look ever tried. Dande wasn't visibly moved, snatched the clipboard back, and pointed. The kazoo started playing a merry death dirge for the line of writers.

"Okay, thanks for waiting while we underwent our shift change." Dande poised the golden pen. "You're a writer, right?"

"Well..sorta, but not really. I am a character as well as being an avatar for a writer in another fandom." Renn shrugged a little. "I just wanted to see what it was like where it wasn't like an ongoing porn movie, that's all."

"That's not a free ticket to safety. Not," the herald grinned cheerfully, "that there's any safety to be found now that the boss is taking care of things." Dande paused a moment. "Porn movie? If Dex were still whole, he'd probably have all sorts of questions on how to get where you're from."

"Oh. Well, in that case." Renn bit her lower lip a moment, and considered her options. They weren't encouraging.

"Blast. I'm afraid I'm about to do something.."

"Heroic?" The herald shook her head in resignation.

"I was about to say, stupid. But heroic works." With that, the blonde snatched the clipboard with the writers names on it, and ran off. Sprinting faster than Phil and Abyss (currently RingIP) after free Guiness, faster than Dex after..well..-ahem-, Renn raced past the currently-plotting-on-how-to-salvage-the-situation folks, and tossed the thing into their midst.

With a maniacal grin, and wondering why oh WHY does her typist do this to me? Renn taunted over her shoulder at Dande. "Herald, shmerald..you couldn't organize an ants picnic!"

~I hope I get resurrected somehow.~

From under the forgotten sleeping bag, another sheet of paper emerged.

'Great. Another lunatic.'

The kazoo hummed out chase themes.

End part 2