Dedication: To all the IRCers I have known, including Poi and Ali and Rossi and Yas and Yona and, and, and there are WAY too many of you to list...

Alphabet Soup 12/13

by ALC Punk!

"Yes, ya are, Archie." Logan's gravelly voice cut across the semi-whine Warren's had become. Val was grateful for that, he was beginning to grate on her nerves with the incessant whinging. Pete had whinged on at her for a good five minutes before Kitty kicked him in the rear and he agreed.

Logan had just snorted and helped her to recruit the others. First Longshot, then Wonder Man, then a rather bored-looking Hercules. Finally, they'd cornered Warren. Logan was NOT participating, just helping. Val smirked to herself. Time to get the show on the road.

----

The men sort of hunched on their stools, bored, but chatting softly. The technician had methodically taken sound checks and everything was ready to go.

"Warren?" Val said, softly.

"All right, all right, all right, everybody. Settle down. Come on now." Warren cleared his throat and they stopped talking. "Welcome to the weekly meeting of the National Association of W Lovers. We are gathered here today to pay tribute to that great letter W and the wondrous sound it makes....Wuh! Isn't that lovely? Wuh! Yeah, it makes the heart pound faster. All right. Now if you all turn to page four in the manual, we will sing the club's song. All right, everybody, turn to page four. That's it. All right. Now is everybody ready? Here we go." He smiled as the music started. "I'll begin. You can join in later. Here we go."

"Oh, what is the letter we love?
What sound are we extra fond of?
It's not any trouble
You know it's a W
When you hear "Wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh!"

"Without this fine letter
You couldn't say "wash"
Or "witch," "wax," or "wiggle"
My gosh! Huh!
There wouldn't be "wet," "warm," or "walrus"
Oh wow!
There wouldn't be "wood"
Would there now? Uh-uh!
Without this great "Wuh" sound
Well, "wink" would be "ink"
And "wing" would be "ing"
Don't you see? Of course.
A fine word like "waffle"
Would turn out just "awful"
Oh, W's grand as can be
(All right, everybody!)

And then they all joined in, voices blending, though Hercules was a bit off-key.

"So what is the letter we love?
The sound that we're extra fond of?
It's not any trouble
You know it's a W
When you hear "Wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh!"

"One more time!" Warren called.

As he led them in the final line, he suddenly realised that Longshot was getting off his stool and wandering off. "When you hear 'Wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh!'"

"Oh wow! That was wonderful!" He enthused before glaring after Longshot, who had just exited the studio. "Vaaaal..."

She snickered. "Stop whining, Worthington."

------

Charles had just mildly nodded when she'd walked up and handed him the script. Val was VERY glad about that.

Of course, he'd half-intimidated the poor technician just by being so very calm and nice...

"Egad! Professor Xavier here, the worlds leading expert on the X-Factor. And I believe the letter following W is..."

"X marks the spot.
X marks their combadge.
Two straight lines crossing
Over in the middle.
That's the letter you must see to
Find any of the X-teams,
or the X-ray machine that's
looking right inside of you.
X is the letter without which
I could not do.

"X marks the spot.
X stands for danger.
Two straight lines crossing
Over in the middle
Saying "Here's the ones who made the mess!"
And sometimes it means there's pirates
Or at worse, it means there's poison
And in case these thoughts of X
Are vexing you
X stands for xylophone, too!"

"Val."

"I know, Charles. Sorry."

---- tbc

Part Thirteen
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