Ballad of Jean and Maddie

Filked from "The Homecoming Queen Has Got a Gun" by ALC Punk!

On a trip to the moon to save the world
The whole team was there--it was totally cool
When they almost died on the way back to the earth
Our best girl Jeannie got the Phoenix Force

The bird was so golden, the power sky-high
Healing the Crystal of the M'Krann
Back on Earth, she's going semi-schizo
Does she love Scott or Logan?
You know like one of those soaps? I mean, definitely a love triangle.
{Hellfire}

Dazzler was found, Kitty rescued herself
Emma was beaten and Jean seemed more powerful, or something
They infiltrated the Hellfire Club
And then were introduced to fiendish plots

"Oh my God! Wyngarde unveiled his new Black Queen!"

Everybody run Dark Phoenix has begun
Everybody run Dark Phoenix has begun

Jeannie's smiling in passionate glee
Darkness consuming every inch of her being
Oh, she just slapped Ro in the face with her whip!
Oh no, Scott's fallen on the floor without a breath
The redhead's on a killing spree
Somebody try reason--or is it not to be?
Now that she's triumphed over the X
Is she really turning on Wyngarde?

Everybody fight, at the Hellfire Club tonight
Everydody fight, at the Hellfire Club tonight
Oh Jeannie, we've made such a mess
Of your psyche in its twistedness

A fight in Central Park now proves
Phoenix more than a match for our heroes--oh dear, they've lost
The Shi'ar, in space, unable to stop her
She destroys a planet, consumes a star

"Professor Xavier, give us Jean Grey, the price of an inhabited world is death."

A fight on the moon proceeds, as the X-Men
Fight valiantly for their friend's life
One by one defeated, till only two are left
Her power flares and she sacrifices it all

Mourn for our loss, Jean Grey has died
Mourn for the loss, Jean Grey has died
Suicide instead of our lives
Noble though it be, we'll never realise

While flying he met her, this Madelyne Pryor
Then wedding bells rang and sea monsters attacked
Was she Jean or was it all Wyngarde's plot to wreck?
Proved against Wynnie, they left all ecstatic

A couple months later
A spat broke out
Then things were revealed
A child was born

And then Jean came back, fighting her fear
It was then I knew, Inferno was near

So, like, Jean was found in this coccoon in Jamaica Bay
And, Maddie she went totally bonkers
and proceeded to lay--
Some demon and Sinister

Sinister?
Well, like, who's Sinister?
Answer me, Maddie! Who's Sinister?
Do any of you X-people know who Sinister is?
Are you Sinister?
There was this guy named Sinister, but he was a total geek and always had clones in his lab
Answer me, Chris, who's Sinister?

Oh, God this is like the whole Rachel thing
You know where we don't find out who she is until she calls Jean "Mom"?
And now we'll never know who her father is
'Cause, like, Claremont has left

The clone has died, we're all so real surprised
The clone has ressurected, and now more fun and games

End

Filked from a rather silly song, originally sung by Julie Brown. Talk about the whole massacre in Colorado already happening...

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The original lyrics

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