Dishes Rattled in the Cupboard
by ALC Punk!

Finally, unable to stand it anymore (she had a mission to go on in the morning, and she needed to sleep, damnit), she lashed out with her foot and kicked the other occupant of her bed.

"Honkrsfklg-ow."

There was silence for a bit, and she settled deeper into her pillow. Good. Now she could--the snoring began again.

If her mother had been alive, she thought resentfully, her mother would probably have been able to tell her that men snored no matter what. Of course, considering the man in her bed, her mother would also have probably been amused. Or worried. Or simply un-impressed. After all, he *was* the kind of man mothers were supposed to warn you about. Or so she'd heard.

Reaching out, she poked him in the side.

When that only elicited a louder snore, she poked him again.

The result was that he rolled on his side. Towards her. And continued snoring.

Her eyes narrowed. He was doing it on purpose.

He was *so* snoring loudly on purpose. Just to irritate her.

She was beginning to think this whole sleeping with him thing was a waste of her time. Or maybe it wasn't exactly a waste, because, damn, but it was good sex. But... Maybe she should make him sleep on the couch on nights before missions. Then she could actually sleep. And be all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning.

An extra-loud snore distracted her from her thoughts, and she glared at him. "Jack."

No response, but she *knew* he was fighting not to smirk. Another snore.

"Jack, I know you're awake."

Her only response was another loud snore.

Fine.

The shove was intended to only roll him off the bed, but at the last minute his hand closed around her wrist, and she found herself tumbling after him.

"Ow."

"You bastard."

"Hey, did I shove *you* out of bed?"

"You were snoring and you wouldn't stop."

"Carter, you could have just asked."

"Bastard." She groused, her head leaning on his shoulder.

"You weren't complaining earlier."

"You were keeping me awake in a much more fun manner."

"Hey!" He waved his free hand, "I'm old, I can't do that all night long anymore."

"Well, I have a mission in the morning," she raised her head and glared at him. "And I'd like to be well-rested and awake for it."

"You sure?"

What did he--oh. Her eyes closed as his fingers toyed with the breast they could reach. That bastard. "Jack."

"Carter." Innocent. He sounded so. damn. innocent.

"I need to sleep."

"So sleep." The fingers continued their movements.

"I thought you said you were an old man?" She asked, eyebrow arching.

"Thor rejuvenated me."

"Really? When did this happen?"

"Just now." He smirked and slid his free hand down her back, cupping her bare ass.

"I need to sleep."

"More than you need this?" The hand slid down between her legs. His fingers splayed outwards, stroking still tender flesh.

A groan escaped her. Damn, he was good with those. "No. Yes. Damn you."

She shifted, legs spreading out to straddle him. His hand came around and went back to what it had been doing, fingers sliding gently over her. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Fine. Be that way." After all, it wasn't like she didn't enjoy doing this sort of thing with Jack. Just... some sleep would've been nice. But his fingers were doing their damned best to make her *not* want to sleep.

His hands grabbed her by the hips and she complied by wriggling down until his erect penis was prodding her.

For a moment, he stared up at her, fingers tracing her face gently.

"Hey."

"Hey."

A smile touched her lips and she bent forward, "I hope you're up for this, flyboy."

"Oh, being up isn't the problem, darlin'," he drawled. The hand slid between them again, two fingers grazing her, circling, and then plunging inwards.

She arched slightly, breath escaping in a gasp. "Ah. That's always a good thing."

Then there weren't any other words because she'd taken the initiative and reached down, pulling his hand away and sliding down onto him with a well-lubricated twist. They both groaned.

A rhythm was quickly established, and she sighed as his hand tangled in her hair and dragged her lips to his. But after a while, she realized something. "Hey."

"Hrm?"

"This was your idea, how come I'm doing all the work?"

"We're on the floor, Carter, you sure you wanna get dirty?"

"Too late for that." She licked his neck.

"Fine, fine. Cranky woman."

With a few mis-timed movements that resulted in at least one bruised elbow, they rolled until she was on the bottom. Naturally, her legs slid up and wrapped around his waist. "Not very agile there, old man."

"Grumpy." He informed her, kissing her cheek.

"You're the one," she grunted as he thrust in, "who wouldn't stop," out, and now she was beginning to be really glad he'd started this, "snoring."

"Could've asked." he replied, the smirk on his lips lazy.

"Too much--ohhhh--trouble."

He chuckled, "And yet you're doing this." And he stopped.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Carter?"

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Oh baby, oh, baby," He mocked gently.

She growled and twined one leg down around his, shifting and altering the angle of penetration. "Ja-ack."

"Right." He pulled back, then thrust in.

The new angle was definitely better. "Harder."

"Yes--" he gasped and pulled her other leg up, sliding his hand under her knee. Her hips felt the strain, but she didn't care. "--ma'am."

No more words, and she was definitely remembering why she stayed with this man despite the fact that they had very little in common. Well, that and the part where she actually kind of liked him (maybe even loved him), when he was irritating the crap out of her. He wasn't talented with only his hands, she decided as he slid in and out and around and she could feel the orgasm building at the base of her spine.

After the earlier round, she'd figured there'd be nothing left but a pleasant haze.

This was *so* more than a pleasant haze.

Her world narrowed until there was nothing but Jack, nothing but the feel of him inside of her and on top of her with his hands tangled in her hair and his mouth plundering hers and his chest pressing against her sensitive nipples and the skin of his back under her fingertips as she suddenly wanted to touch every part of him.

Teeth nipped at her neck and then fingers found a nipple. And it was all too much. She wondered, fuzzily, if this would be what he did to her every damn time (current experience said yes).

She dug in her nails and held on; he followed her off the precipice a moment later, teeth closing on her upper arm.

Damn. She'd have to make sure she was wearing long sleeves for the next few days.

They lay tangled in the aftermath, breathing slowly returning to normal, hearts beating less and less erratically. Eventually, she shifted and sighed. "Jack?"

"Hrm?"

"I have this really grumpy commanding officer to face in the morning. Can we get back in bed?" Besides. She was getting stiff. And the cold couldn't be good for him, either. Old man that he was. But she refrained from pointing this out.

"He'll understand." He replied, but he did move off of her and get up.

They climbed back into bed, both grumbling and grouching at each other over who was on the right side and who had the wrong side. Eventually they ended up sprawled out, half-curled around each other. Her face was buried in his shoulder. He kinda smelled nice, which would give her good dreams.

"Night, Carter."

"Night, John-boy."

There was a pause, "Carter?"

"Hrm?" She was pretty sure her eyes weren't open. And he really did smell nice. All skin and sweat and dirt and Jack O'Neill.

"If I weren't so tired, I'd spank you."

"That a promise?" she mumbled.

He yawned. "Tomorrow night."

"'K." She was almost asleep, drifting on completely relaxed muscles and a nice warm and cocooned feeling. "Jack?"

"Mmm?"

"No snoring."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Jack?" She was grinning. Damnit. She was supposed to be asleep.

"What? Aren't you tired yet, woman?"

"I was. You keep being an ass."

"Y'know, that could be grounds for insubordination."

"I'm sure you said worse to General Hammond."

"Probably." He paused, huffed, "Why are we still awake?"

"I," she yawned. "Don't know."

"Good night, Sam."

"Good night, Jack."

-finis-

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© 2005 ALC Punk!