> | Block address
Tom: Yes, I'd like to block address.
Joel: If only that meant we wouldn't get this fanfic.
> To: outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net
Crow: Wow.
> Subject:
Tom: Verb and predicate nouns.
Crow: Is that present or past tense?
> [OTL]: [Monet] 300 Words
Joel: To say I love youooooo.
> Reply-to:
Crow: No one.
> outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net
> Add Addresses
Joel: That would be a big NO!
>It's late and i really needed to write something, so here it is.
Tom: And I can't think of anything good to write, so...
>*Disclaimer*
Crow: Any sex in this fanfic--
Joel: Crow!
>Monet, Emma, and Jubilee are all owned by Marvel
Tom: Princess, Queen and Peon.
Joel: And Bankrupt.
>Pudding is owned Jello Corporation
Crow: It's finger-licking good!
Joel: No no, that's Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Crow: Not with what *I'd* do with the pudding.
Tom: Oh, yes, would this have anything to do with the chocolate on--
Crow: No.
>300 Words
by Hellions Pizza
Tom: You know, there's really not MUCH you can say to a name like that.
Crow: So we only have to read 300 words? Coool.
>Dear Ms. Frost;
Crow: I really enjoyed the time we spent together last night. Hope we can do this again, signed, Sean Cassidy.
Joel: CROW!
Crow: What? Everyone knows they were doing it.
Tom: He's right.
> You recently informed me, Monet St. Croix,
Tom: But I thought it was MONET writing the essay? At least, that's what was implied...
Joel: Don't try to logic it out.
>must write an essay
for you,
Emma Frost, that would explain the wrongness of
Joel: Redundancy.
Tom: Repetition.
Crow: And saying the same thing.
>recent acts I
committed.
Crow: Myself to an asylum, hope you're all happy back at the mansion.
Tom: Give my regards to Broadway!
>You
requested that it be kept under 300 hundred words, so
Joel: Buttons.
Crow: Obscure, there.
> I'll be a brief
Crow: I'd like to get into Emma's briefs!
Joel: *sigh* That was lame.
Tom: Yeah. I'd prefer Paige's briefs, myself.
Joel: TOM!
>as
possible. But before I get into the wrongness of recent acts committed
Joel: Why are acts being committed?
>by me I
must say that I'm apposed
Tom: Applied opposition?
>that I is being forced to write this essay.
Joel: It's too easy, let it slide.
> You requested that I write this essay because acts I've
committed. But
you yourself have committed less sterling
Crow: They were golden graham acts.
>acts and gone unpunished.
What type of
hypocrisy are you trying to push upon us. You say for us to be moral
and
Crow: Always wear white leather.
Tom: And four-inch heeled boots.
Joel: With feather boas and a duster.
>ethical, yet you yourself are not. I must speak out about this
hypocrisy, but
that would be getting off topic.
Joel: (Monet as Valleygirl) And I *so* wouldn't, like, wanna do, like, that, ya know?
> For these wrong doings I've committed, you have decided that an
essay
would be ample
Joel: Don't say it, Crow.
Crow: What?
Joel: Breasts.
Tom: Uh, Joel...
>punishment. But this sort of punishment is useless.
Tom (singing): All my useless advice, all my bringing you down...
>For
committing this act you have alleged me of doing, and then giving me
this
punishment, you are warping my ideals.
Joel: So, the white leather and bondage every night isn't?
>You are giving me the idea that
if I were
to commit these acts that all I'd be punished with was a measly 300
word essay.
I could go
Crow: (singing) Darling you've got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?
>elaborate on how ineffective this type of discipline is
Tom: And how inefficient my proofing skills are.
>but
that
would be getting off topic.
Joel: And we wouldn't--Hey...
Crow: Repetition is good.
Tom: NOT!
> Finally, I must argue that I was given no fair trial for these
alleged
acts I've committed.
Tom: Since when are trials in the Marvel universe FAIR?
Crow: Well, Magneto's was supposed to be fair. After all, he gave himself up and--
Tom: Yeah, but what about--
Joel: Faaaaaaaaaannnnnnboooooooyyyyyyyys!
>There was no investigation, and no witnesses to
say I
committed these acts. Also, the victim has a strong dislike for me, and
has a
history of committing such acts. Perhaps she is framing me?
Joel: (Art Critic) Viewing the surrealism embodied by this framed girl...
>I could
tell you
more about why
Crow: (singing) Can't I be you?
>I think she is framing me, but that would be getting off
Joel: Don't even say it, Crow.
Crow: It.
>topic and I've used all of my 300 words.
Tom: Oh, good. Joel, if you'd be so kind?
Joel: It's not over.
Tom: Damn.
> Sincerely your student
Joel: I thought she disdained being their student?
> Monet St Croix
Crow: (Monet) Self-appointed moral officer.
>Very well written essay Monet.
Tom: (Emma) I'm, of course, lying through my teeth, but Sean told me I couldn't be hard on you.
>You brought up some interesting points,
Joel: Which are very sharp, so I promptly dropped them.
>but you
still didn't explain why it was wrong to dump chocolate pudding
Jubilee's bed.
Crow: Oooh, Chocolate-covered--
Joel: Mr. T Robot, one more word...
Tom: Paige!
>I expect another essay written, this time 300 or longer.
Crow: 300 inches?
Joel: Is it an...evil essay?
> Your amused teacher
Emma Frost
Tom: Part-time cashier at Wally's Water park.
>***********
Joel: He xxed out a lot of profanity, there.
Tom: That was lame.
Joel: You're right. Crow?
Crow: The... stars... are so... bright out... here.
>There you have it, another little piece of insanity brought to you by
the letter
F, the number 8, and Christopher Walken.
Tom: (singing) on sunshine, whooa, I'm walking on sunshine...
>Send feedback, flames, and dead sealife to Zuckus-5@erols.com
Crow: Oh, good. Hey, Tom, you still have the url for that child-pornography agency?
Tom: The one to report offenders to? Yes.
[Exeunt Theatre]
[Bridge of the SOL]
Joel and the 'bots are sitting and all three are munching what appears to be pizza.
Tom: So, you think the Mads're gonna send another one?
Crow: As long as it isn't a Monet essay, I'll be happy. This is good pizza by the way, Joel.
Joel: Oh, thanks. I just thought if I added a little oil and some nuts and bolts--
Mads' light flashes.
Joel: Ah, well. Bruce and Lara are calling.
He hits the button.
[Deep Thirteen]
Frank is looking at a Gandalf spread, Dr. F looks on, his face twisted in slight concern.
[SOL]
Joel: Do you think Frank could tell us our future?
[Deep13]
Dr.F: No. He's exclusively telling mine.
[SOL]
Joel: Isn't that a little bit selfish?
[Deep13]
Dr.F: Yes. And what are you going to do about it? NOTHING! Bwhahahaha! Push the button, Frank.
Frank: I think this really is a good sign. The Ten of Cups reversed is always significant.
Dr.F: Frank, the button. Oh, never mind. I'll do it myself.
He turns to Joel and the 'bots again.
[SOL]
Dr.F: Until next time, boobies.
End.
Again, MST3K belongs to Best Brains Inc, and maybe others, dunno. Monet and Emma and Sean belong to Marvel. Thanks again to Hellions Pizza for allowing this and to the kitten for scratching my legs and being cute. Keep circulating the tapes.
>I think she is framing me, but that would be getting off
----
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