|
Anyway, school being what it is, this was actually written during Judo
and the subsequant shower (I need a tape recorder, dammit). Enjoy!
Subreality Cafe: Complaints Nightby Ana "Lyssie" Cotton"What kind of excuse is it? I mean, come on! She hasn't read them, so she can't write that section?" Kitty demanded, "Puhleeease!" "All right, you can quit with the Buffy impression already," Buffy said, sighing. "Sorry," Kitty said, "But it just bothers me. I broke up with Pete because of, of.." she trailed off, trying to recall the name. "Rigby Fallon." "Ah! Rigby, thanks Matt." She smiled over at the young soldier, he smiled back and wandered off, "Rigby Fallon. Now, where was I going with this? Oh, never mind. Though, at least she got rid of me sobbing uncontrollably over Pete." "You cried over me Pryde?" Pete looked at her in surprise as he stopped in the middle of downing the rest of his whisky. "Yes." Kitty shuddered, "It was awful. There I was, having met Buffy only five minutes beforehand, and I'm crying my eyes out over you." She shook her head and grabbed her gin and tonic. "Well, it's not like she didn't do the same to me ten minutes later," Buffy pointed out. "True." "Hey, at least she's letting you emote," Willow snapped. "Yeah, well she doesn't keep giving you a large brain, then taking it away," Buffy pointed out to Willow. "I mean, hello? I can't even recall the name of that big vamp who was after Faith, and yet, I can remember Excalibur and the demon under London?" "Yeah. But, she seems to like making me drool over my boyfriend," Willow paused. "Okay, so that is kinda emoting." She grinned at Oz. "True. But at least you *have* a boyfriend!" Buffy snapped, "I don't get one till nearly the end, and when I do--*poof* she kills him." "It's not like it makes any sense, either," Angel muttered. "You want sense?" Kitty demanded, "This is the Writer who was going to give Willow the Soul Sword!" "I would have liked it, I think," Willow said, "I mean, having ultimate power and ruling my own dimension would have been fun." "Another Demon-Sorceress. Just what we soddin' needed," Pete dragged on his cigarette, "Least the little tart didn't keep me smokeless." "At least you get to smoke in some way," Ilia stared into her drink morosely, "I was going to be an all-powerful, all-seeing entity. Then she knocked me out of my grand schemes.. And for what? Time. it's always a bloody time thing with her." The elf shifted and sipped her drink, "What? Did I kill the conversation?" she demanded, staring around as the others stared into their drinks. "No," Xander said, "I think you just killed your drink is all." "Hey, I don't know what all of you are complaining about. She got me right the first time," Cordelia tossed her hair, "Just proves I'm better and easier than the rest of you." "Not going there," Xander said, grinning at his girlfriend.
"Halt. You can't go in there." "Like hell, I can't you bleedin' smegger," Lyssie snapped at the Bouncer, "I'm a bloody Muse, I'm tired and I'm pissy. Let ME IN." He shifted uncomfortably. The Muse looked rather like she was going to do nasty things to his toes. "All right. Go in. But don't blame me if you get mobbed." He watched as the black-clad Muse stalked inside the double doors, then sighed and looked at the neon sign again. ~Complaints Night. Wonder who the doofus was that came up with that one..~
Lyssie scanned the room. Fictives sat around in little groups, some looking bored, others morose. Still others, looked upset. In the background, Depeche Mode's 'Useless' was playing. Spotting the bar, she stalked over. "What'll it be?" "Strawberry vodka." The bartender looked a little perplexed, "A what?" She scowled, "Vodka, strawberry schnappes and Amaretto." "Oh," As s/he mixed the drink, s/he studied the Muse, "What's the problem, love?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Fair enough," s/he shrugged and handed the Muse her drink. "Here ya go." "Thank you." Turning away, she spotted a corner of the room filled with--could it be? She looked closer, ~Yup. It is them.~ She sighed and made her way over. "--I'm just glad we're not--" Xander broke off as the Muse approached. "May I?" They looked at each other, back at the rather morose/tired/pissy looking Muse and gestured to the last empty space on the sofa. "Thank you," she slumped down and took a long pull on her drink. Lyssie looked at them. They looked back at her, "Well? I interrupted you, please, continue." "Oh, no, that's all right, it was nothing," Xander smiled, "Why don't you wade in on her?" "I'm not sure I know where to start," She stared into her drink. "I could start with the Tapslaught thing and go from there, though." "Say on," Buffy gestured at the Muse. "Right. Well then. I finally got tired of her wishy-washying over the whole xover--you guys--and I took a vaccie. What's the first thing she does? Writes me into a bloody round robin. Now, she wants me to provide the inspiration for the MuseQuest. Grrr..." She sipped her drink again. "What else?" Kitty asked, looking interested. "Then, she woke me up from a nap to write an FX story on the bus! I mean, rully, ya know? And that's it, she says she doesn't want to write anymore in that uni. The bloody show gets cancelled, she writes one little piece and that's it.." "What do you mean, she's not writing in that uni anymore?" Lyssie stared up at the Angie Ramirez fictive who was glaring down at her. "Just that. She doesn't, and I quote: "Feel inspired to write anymore" in that uni." She shot the last of her drink down her throat. "Damn," Angie glared at the Muse, "You'd better get her writing more, got it? I'm tired of this crappy limbo!" Lyssie watched her stalk away and stared at her empty glass morosely, "I need another drink. Oi! Waiter!" "Yes, milady?" His voice was deep and velvetly evil. Kitty and Buffy stared at him in shock. "How the hell did you come to be a waiter?!" Buffy demanded. Valentine stared down his nose at her and Kitty, "I was only in that story for one chapter, I had to wait tables here to pay the rent. What'll ya have?" Lyssie stared at him, "Another strawberry vodka please." "And the rest of you?" Choruses of various drinks came from the others, he nodded and strode off towards the bar. "Where was I?" Lyssie shrugged, "Never mind, I'm done. Who wants to go next?" They all looked at each other. "Well, actually, I think we're done--for now." Buffy said, having been silently voted the spokesperson. "Oh. Okay," Lyssie grabbed her drink off Val's tray as he came by, "Thank you." "Anyone for a game of poker?"
Notes: Buffy, Kitty, Cordy, Xander, Pete, Lyssie, Ilia and Valentine
are mine. And all, save Lyssie, are featured in (eventually to be
finished) 'The Slayer, the Cat and some Wisdom'. Contact the Author, or yell at the Webmistress © 1999 ALC Punk! |