Alphabet Soup 10/13

by ALC Punk!

Samuel Guthrie looked inquiringly at his sister, Paige, as she approached looking very SO not pleased. Her blonde hair nearly stood on end in agitation, even though her smile was fixed in place. It was one of the ways to tell if his sister was upset. Check her hair. If it lay flat and calm, she was fine. Otherwise, look out below.

"Paige?"

"You're to come with me, Cable has already given his permission, don't resist, I'll beat you up." Her lips moved so fast he wondered if she had been taking lessons from Jubilee on speaking faster than the speed of light. Her hand on his arm didn't give him a chance to respond and he found himself dragged out of the room and down a corridor before he could do more than breath in. He tried digging his heels in to no avail. She had a grip and her speed, and she wasn't stopping.

"Paige?"

No answer and they were now nearing a door. An ominous looking door. It appeared, he noticed as it opened, to lead into a studio. A studio in which Val sat, with a technician. The young woman looked utterly exhausted. Considering they'd all been there for hours, now and it had to have been something close to three in the morning, he didn't blame her.

His arm was beginning to ache as Paige towed him to Ms. Cooper.

"Here he is ma'am."

"Good." Ms. Cooper handed his sister a script and turned to the technician with a worried look. "Will you be able to make it?"

"Yeah. We've got," The tech paused and counted softly. "Eight left? As long as there aren't any probs, I think we can finish by five or so."

"Here's your script, Sam, read through it, then give the tech a mic-check. And be ready in five minutes." Paige informed him, still doing her Jubilee imitation.

"But--"

Sam was not given the chance to respond. Val firmly nodded at the tech, who disappeared into her booth and then dragged a sound check out of the confused young man.

"OK, Sam, do start." Valerie called to him after the sound check, when he was calmly sitting on the stool.

"OK. Um." He cleared his throat and began. "Say hey! I'm Sammy the snake, and I'm here to tell you people something about the letter S.

"Oh, I'm Sammy the snake
And I look like the letter Sssss.
Oh, yes.

"I'm all wiggly and curvy,
And I look like the letter Sssss.
I confess.

"But do you know the sound
Of Sammy the snake?
Well, the sound of the letter S
Is the sound I make.

"I say 'Sssssss!'
Let me tell you about it. Out of sight.

"I say 'Sssss!' in the morning,
'Sssss!' in the afternoon.

"Yes, I do to all my snake friends.

"I say 'See you later, Slinky.'
She's my sister.
I say 'See you soon.'

"Yeah, she's a super chick."

Paige smirked slightly.

"Yeah, I'm Sammy the snake," Sam continued, studiously ignoring his sister.
"And I have to confess
That I look and I sound just like the letter S.

"Now come on, all you peoples, and make that S sound with me. Here we go.
Ssssssssssss! Yeah, that's fine.
That's the sound you hear in the beginning of a word like 'stake' or 'staplegun.' Let's do it again. Ssssssssssss.
Yeah, you hear that sound in the beginning of a word like
'seeping,' 'stringy,' 'schlep,' 'star,' or 'seven.'

"Yeah, I'm Sammy the snake,
And I have to confess
That I look and I sound just like the letter S.

"Ssssssssssss! So long."

The fuzzy guitar noodled out and Sam stopped singing, then blinked.

----

Natasha Alianovna Romanova sat sipping a coffee and wondering how quickly she could get away. From the looks on the faces bearing down on her, nothing would be fast enough. She sighed in resignation and waited for Valerie Cooper, Tony Stark and Clinton Barton to reach her.

"No."

"But I need a third on this, and I already know you have a lovely singing voice and I really..." Val's voice faded away at the stony look on Natasha's face.

"I'd order you to do it, but it's more of a voluntary nature." Tony said calmly.

"I really--"

"Please, 'Tasha? For me?" Clinton interrupted her, giving his best puppydog look.

She sighed and put her head down on the table, narrowly missing her still steaming cup of coffee. [What level of hell have I descended to? What did I ever do to--Oh. Yeah.] "Fine. You owe me, Barton."

"Ok."

"Good." Val sighed in relief and lead the way down to the studio. She'd not been sure Natasha would help her again.

Mic checks, readthroughs and mutterings later, they were ready to start.

"Now that we've been serenaded by an S, here's a letter to bounce about." Tony began, a bit chirpily, if dryly.

"What's that?" Hawkeye asked, his eyes twinkling.

"The letter T. My favorite letter."

"Oh yeah? Why?"

Natasha sat silently through this exchange, wishing she were elsewhere, plotting Val's demise and trying to figure out which horrid task to give Clint--or, maybe he could just wait forever for the payback.

"'Cause of all the great food that begins with the letter T." And Tony started singing, a deep rich tenor flowing out.
"There's turnips, tortillas and tacos.
There's tabascoe, turkey, tea.
There's tortellini and toffee
and tomatoes if you please.
There's tangerines and t-bone steaks
and Toblerone is a treat. Tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh.
T is my favorite letter,
'Cause of all those foods to eat.
Tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh
tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh."

"Well, I like the letter T too, 'cause all the animals
in this neighborhood begin with the letter T."
Rejoined Hawkeye. His voice was a bit scratchy with
misuse, then firmed.
"Like tyranasaurus rex
And a trillin' tigercat
A tortoise and a tapir
And a terrier you can pat
There's tunafish and toucans
A turkey and a trout, tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh
T is my favorite letter,
'Cause of the animals that I meet."

Tony joined him in the chorus,
"Tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh
tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh."

"I like the letter T, because the names of the spies I know all begin with the letter T." Natasha began, grimacing slightly.
"Well, there's Tyler, Tim and Turlough.
There's Terry and there's Trey.
There's Thomas, that's a boy's name.
And Tegan, that's a girl.
There's Talula and Tamara.
There's Tammy and there's Todd.
Tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh.
T is my favorite letter
'Cause of the spies living on my street."

They all did the chorus.
"Tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh
tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh."

"OK! That's a wrap. You people are exhausting." The technician came out, looking exceedingly tired. "I'm taking a fifteen minute nap. Get me when the next group come in." And she wandered off, muttering under her breath. "Coffee...sugar...salt..."

"Well." Val said, brightly. "Thank you, people. I'm off to procure my U team."

---- tbc

Part Eleven
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