Alphabet Soup 11/13

by ALC Punk!

"Ms. Cooper, I hope you realise my time is valuable."

"Yes, Essex, I do. Now, if you'll just concentrate on this script, I'm sure we can get through this fast. Riptide, you're ready?"

The shackled and collared Marauder glared balefully at her, then nodded.

"Begin."

"Hi there." Riptide began, fighting the inherent cheeriness of the words and failing. "Riptide here. And now, we'll have Mis--Professor Sinister lecture us on the next letter of the alphabet: the letter U. Uhhhh, professor?"

"Huh?!" Sinister looked up from a set of notes he'd been contemplating, "What was that about Su--Ah, yes. Good day. U is for underpass, U is for underwear, U is for... uhhh... uuhh..." He became absorbed in his notes again.

"Up, professor!" Riptide abjured.

"Huh?! Huh?! Uhm..." Sinister sighed and glanced at the script. "U is for upper plate, U is for undulate, U is for... uhhhh... uhh..."

"Up, professor!"

"Huh?! Huh?!" Sinister rolled his eyes and set his notes down for a moment. "One straight line going down and smoothly curving 'round and heading straight up the other way. U is unusual. U is unquestionably the start of USSR. Which began when the United--hrm,
Union, that's another U word.
As is unicorn
Ukulele, uniform and
U also sounds like
Uncle... umbrella... umpire... uhmm..." He became distracted again by some blinking icon on the screen of his notepad.

"Up, professor, up!

"Huh?! Huh?! Who?!"

"U!" Riptide snapped.

A bell dinged. Val blessed all sound effects and waved to the SHIELD guards. They led the two men out of the studio, leaving her to contemplate the next song and shudder.

----

"Oh come now, Val. It's only fair."

"Fair? Fair does not come into this, Fury."

"Cooper, they'll all go along with it more this way."

"Fine." The snarl hadn't entirely left her voice as she came back into the studio. The young technician looked at her, "I'll do the sound check and be ready."

"OK, ma'am."

"Hi there! I, Valerie, am going to sing you a song about the letter V. The letter V is the first sound you hear in the word "very," but there aren't too many other words that begin with the letter V. So I'm just going to have to sing the word 'very' an awful lot like this..."

And Val began to sing. It wasn't a very pleasant voice, and she didn't always hit the correct notes, but the gusto was there. "I'm very, very, very, very, Very, very, very, very, Very, very, very, very
Glad to see you
I'm here to sing about a very, very, Very, very, very, very,
Very special letter
Called the letter V
But it's very, very, very, very, Very, very, very, very, Very, very hard to
Think of V words,
Because there really aren't very, very, Very, very, very, very,
Very many words that start with V

She cocked her head to the side, "Now let me think. Hmmmm. A-ha! I thought of some."

"There's "verissimilitude." That's a V word.
There's "voice," "vacation," and "valentine."
There's "vanilla" and "vanish" and "vine."

"But, gee! That's about all I can think of, so I guess my song sounds"

"Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, Very, very, very, very, very silly.
Still I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
Very, very glad you're here with me
To hear me sing about a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very special letter.
A very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
Very special letter called the letter V."

As the song ended, Val sighed. "Y'know, I REALLY am beginning to wonder about my sanity."

---- tbc

Part Twelve
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