Alphabet Soup 3/13

by ALC Punk!

Val surveyed the studio room and smiled. A table, two chairs, a cage with a stuffed mouse in it. Several members of various teams, including Karla Sofen of the Thunderbolts and Brian Braddock of Excalibur. Emma Frost had her charges in one corner, all of whom were snickering at their teammate, Jubilation Lee.

Jubilation was seated in one of the chairs, with her arms crossed, scowling.

Not that Mr. Braddock looked much happier as he finished his sound check and Val cued him to begin. "And now, it's time for that great new game show 'What's My Letter?'. And here's the hostess of the show, Karla Sofen!"

Polite and scattered aplause came from the various people around the room and Karla Sofen stepped to the mic, "Thank you! Thank you! And now, before we begin our game, let me tell you that today's letter is the letter E. Remember, that's the letter E. And now, let's meet our first contestant, a lovely young lady, Ms. Jubilation Lee!"

Again, polite applause was heard. Jubilee snapped her gum a bit, then, "Hi. It's, like, *snap* really cool to *snap* be here, Karla. Ya know?"

"And now, Jubilee, here is your question. In the alphabet, what letter comes after the letter D?" Karla asked.

"Um, like, *snap* I'm not sure."

"Think now Jubilee it comes after D and just before F." Karla ignored the snickering from the sidelines.

"*snap* Some clues, please?"

"Well, sometimes it sounds like 'eh' as in 'entropy', 'elbow' and 'ectoplasm'." Karla started. Jubilee silently mouthed the words, snapping her gum all the while. "Other times it sounds like 'ee' as in 'Egon', 'Egrorian' and 'Ealing'."

"Oh, *snap* it's a puzzler." Jubilee noted. Ev and Ange were leaning on each other, snickering into their hands. Paige was trying NOT to smile and Monet was completely oblivious.

"Time is running out." Karla intoned, "Remember if you answer correctly, you will win our grand prize, this delightful pet mouse."

"A mouse? Neat!" Jubilee jumped up, "The letter is E, bub." She forgot completely to snap her gum as she leaned over the table to peer into the cage.

Chaos ensued as several people at once erupted into laughter and Jubilee accidently knocked a chair over and someone knocked over a micstand. Over the resulting din only a few voices were discernable.

"Jubilation, get OFF the table."

"Aw, Frosty, I'm just tryin' to--HEY! It's not a real mouse!"

"Madre de--"

"I'm beginning to realise that boredom is preferable."

"My job!"

----

Several minutes later, Valerie had gotten everyone calmed down and out of the studio. All except for the young tech who was still sitting there, shaking. It took several more minutes to reassure the young woman that she wouldn't lose her job for the damage done to the mic. The girl nodded.

"I'll be back. OK?" Val carefully stood up and left the room, not waiting for an answer.

----

Twenty minutes later, Val was back. And this time, she was worried that the participants would kill one another. At least, three of them kill the one. . .

Hank McCoy started them off, "Hey, Creed, Rahne, Kurt, it has become the hour to operatically project our thoughts on the alphabetical cosign after E."

"I don't want to sing that damned song, frail."

"Ah, Mr. Creed, but we have to. It's in our contract." Rahne pointed out.

(Sound of papers rustling, throats clearing, mutters...)

"Four furry friends, frolicking fellows,"

(All stop.)

"Rahne isn't a fellow."
"I really doubt you frails consider me a friend."
"*sigh* Just ignore the inconsistencies and continue."

"4 furry friends, frankly affectionate,"

"Creed, you touch Rahne, and I will teleport your head to the next continent."

"They sing the future soon. (future soon)
Faithful, fearless, friends for forever.
Fabulous, fun, family.
4 furry friends, faithful together.
Fun-filled, and forever free. (ever free)"

"Except for this damned inhibitor collar. You will pay for this, Cooper!"

Henry spoke the bridge over their humming,
"F is the letter that brings us together.
F is fun. F is famous.
And together our friendship will forge forward.
Thanks to that fantastic letter F."

Again, all sang, "Four furry friends, faithful together.
Fun-filled, and forever free. (Ever free!)"

"Boy, I really hated that." Creed announced, twisting on the stool to glare at her.

"OK. That's a wrap. I've got to do something. GUARDS! Come get Creed and put him back in his cell." Val scrambled out the door before the others could catch her. "Gotta get the next group! Must have this done soon!"

-- tbc

Part Four
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