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Alphabet Soup 7/13

by ALC Punk!

"Go!" Called the fading technician, for once taking the reins.

Monet: Hello, Robert.
Bobby: Hey, M!
Monet: That is the letter that goes up, down, up, down, yes?
Bobby: Yup.
Monet: Valerie is dead.
Bobby: We still have to come up with food to eat.
Monet: Fine. You start. *whisper*: Not that I think you'll come up with any good ones.

Bobby: Mmm, marshmallows.
Monet: I am NOT saying 'Mmm'.
Bobby: Mmm, Meatballs.
Monet *gritted teeth, after Val has waved the contract*: Mmm, ready to munch.
Bobby: Mmm, Malted Milk.
Monet: Mmm, I hate mustard.
Bobby: Mmm, Now, *I* want lunch! Monet: Macaroni and Manicotti make a magnificent meal.
Bobby: Mmm, oh yeah!
Monet: Ahem.
Bobby: If Iceman had food, now how yummy his tummy would feel! (Oh, Val is dead!)

Monet: I'll hold her.
Bobby: I'd like some Malted Milk, meatballs, meatloaf, melon.
Monet: Can we not bury Val in that?

Both: So, without further ado, we're starting a revolt, here! But first have this big letter, 'M' Val!

*sound of crash as a rather large 'M' falls near Val--juuust missing her*

Both: *curses*

----

As they left, Val patted the contracts she'd gotten everyone to sign as they came to the little 'party'.

----

"OK, Val, we've done A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M, that's enough. I'm taking my team and going home." Cable informed Valerie Cooper as she sat making notes on a tablet and muttering under her breath.

Snatches of phrases like, "O! Jubilee, and Marrow..." and "P must be the easiest.. Ps... Damn.." escaped the blonde's clasped lips. She jerked her head up and blinked at Cable. "What? Leaving? No you aren't! I've got you scheduled here, somewhere." She paused to rummage through her notes. "AH! Nathan Summers, you're supposed to read this script and be ready in ten. OK?" She smiled peachily at him and went back to scribbling on the tablet.

Nate stared at the tablet in his hand. "The Noodle Story" was printed across the top, with the participants listed under it. The participants were him and...Nate Grey.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the studio, Nate Grey sat playing Poker with Teresa, Roberto, Sam and Tabitha. "So, if I have a straight, I win?"

Sam rolled his eyes at the childish eagerness of Grey's voice and nodded. They'd started playing out of boredom and so far, Tabitha, Sam and 'Berto were all tied for first. Teresa kept losing track of the game. Sam rather thought the presence of Risque might have been the reason. Then again, any woman would have to be slightly nuts to NOT be annoyed by the sexily-clad woman's presence.

If you could call what Risque was wearing clothing. It appeared to consist, Sam noted again, of five strips of black material and some silvery stuff. All of it gave Psylock a run for her 'naked costume of the year' award.

"Yo! Guthrie! Mind on the game, NOT on the leather-clad psychovamp." Tabitha snapped, recalling him to the game.

Sam blushed and looked down at his cards. "Sorry." He muttered.

'Berto snickered, but quickly muffled it as Cable arrived to tower over them. "Grey, it appears we're 'participants' in the next skit." His tone said he wasn't sure if this was good or bad.

Looking up at him, Nate blinked. "Me--us? Why?"

"For what, would be a better question," Nathan returned dryly. He passed a copy of the script to Nate.

"The letter N? OK." Nate flipped through the script. "Nine--"

"Wait until we're ready to tape, boys!" Snapped a tired voice. Val stalked towards them. "I hope you're ready. Come on, come on." She began herding them to the studio.

"But I had a straight flush!" Nate protested as he was dragged out of earshot, his cards fluttering to the ground in his wake.

Carefully avoiding 'Berto's eyes, Sam carefully collected Nate's abandoned cards and set them with the rest of the deck. "I guess we need another fifth."

"What about Iceman?" Tabitha suggested. ----

The studio technician looked worn out and tired. Val obviously was NOT giving her a break until this was over. Cable decided the tech would be allowed the first shot, as needed. When Val went down, they'd all stand back and the poor girl would have one shot. THEN they'd all carefully murder Cooper.

"Sirs, if you'd just do a quick mic check so we can get this over with." The technician was a young woman with very large circles under her eyes. Red hair cascaded around her head in slight disarray.

"Sure thing." Cable replied, carefully not leaning into the mic as someone had once instructed him. He watched in amusement as the kid did just that.

"Er, testing, one, two--"

"Listen, kid, could you just speak in your normal tone--sit normally? Thanks." She instructed.

"Testing, one, two--"

"Got it. Everyone ready?"

Valerie studied the two men who shared the same name and face. Nathan looked relaxed and ready to fall asleep. Nate, on the other hand, was peering about the studio, studying everyone and everything and fidgeting nervously. She sighed, hoping he'd settle down, then nodded, "Gentlemen, if you'd begin?"

"So far, we've done A-M, I think it's time to go home, don't you?" Nate began.

"Well, Nate, we've got *lots* of letters to go. And the next one is N." Nathan replied laconically. "So now," he continued, "I shall tell you a story that's filled with words that start with the letter N."

"I don't wanna hear it." Nate muttered grumpily.

Valerie nearly choked in laughter as Nathan's response dipped into near-goading chirpiness. "Gosh, Nate! Don't you want to hear all those N words with the great nn sound?"

"N-no." The young man snapped.

"Right! 'No' is an N word." Nathan said happily.

Nate Grey put his head in his hands and groaned deeply.

"Now, see if you can hear some others, Nate--which, by the way is another N word." Nathan Summers continued chirpily. "Once upon a time, there were nine naughty noodles."

"Nine naughty noodles?" Nate blinked in surprise.

"Sure. I mean, I can't call them mutants, 'cause it's not an N word." Nathan said in an aside. "Now these nine naughty noodles lived in a nest. And their names were N'Astirh, Namor, Namorita, Nebulon, Nightcrawler, Nightmare, Nikki, Northstar, and Nova."

"Oh no." Nate said stonily, rolling his eyes.

"Now one day, Nanny moved into the neighborhood." Nathan kept himself from choking by willpower alone.

"Nanny? Another noodle I suppose." Nate replied.

"No." Cable chuckled (having decided death was too swift for Valerie), "Nanny was a nectarine."

"Naturally." Nate grumped.

"For Nanny," Nathan said, over Nate's grumbling, "the noodles learned not to be naughty but nice."

"Doesn't this story ever come to an end?" Demanded Nate.

Nathan smirked, "So, you want this story to come to an e*n*d?"

"I sure do!"

"OK. One day, Nanny and the noodles went for a walk and found a great huge letter N carved at a stone." Nathan stopped reading and waited.

"So?" Nate looked puzzled.

"So," Nathan replied, smirking. "You wanted the story to come to an *N*."

Nate groaned. "Oh no, no, no, no."

"Cut!" Valerie Cooper hopped off her perch and strode onto the set. "That was excellent, just excellent, Nates!"

"Why thank you, Val." Nathan said, sardonically, "That's real kind of you."

Val backed up, feeling nervous as the man loomed over her. "Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got--" She looked down at her notes, then back up smiling brightly, "Jubilee and Marrow to find. Thanks!" She waved her hand and dashed for the door.

---- tbc

Part Eight
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