Alphabet Soup 8/13

by ALC Punk!

A small group of people surrounded her; Valerie Cooper, Cable, Sam Guthrie. Rictor and 'Berto were leaning against each other fighting snickers. Tabitha glanced over at the still-going Poker game. McCoy had joined along with Gambit and, oddly enough, Captain America. Siryn was still being distracted and Bobby Drake appeared to be winning.

"No."

"Please, you must understand, it's just a small part, and I--" Valerie tried to coax, her smile beginning to look strained.

"NO." Tabitha turned to Cable and smiled sweetly. "Tell her I won't do it."

"I'm afraid you have to, Meltdown." Said a voice from behind her. Domino. Tabitha blinked and turned to glare at the black-haired mercenary.

"I won't!"

"Tabby, c'mon, it can't be that bad." Sam said softly. His eyes were twinkling, though. She could SEE the laughter in them.

She glared at him, at them all. "Fine." She turned to Domino, "I am NOT going to enjoy this--you will owe me."

Domino shrugged. Maybe if Tabitha hadn't snickered at the D song, she'd not have been so hard. She smiled slightly. Nah, she would've. "No problem."

"Can we--*snicker*--watch?" Rictor asked, gulping air to get rid of the laughter bubbling through him.

"No." Val grabbed Meltdown's arm and began towing her to the studio. "This way, it'll all be over in a minute. I promise. Thank you." She added in a soft whisper.

Tabitha didn't answer as they entered the studio, then went through sound checks and finally...

"Let's see, so far, we've done A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N... Hrm.. I wonder what letter comes next." Tabitha smirked at the sarcasm in her own voice, then hopped off the stool and sailed out. "You're not welcome!" She called over her shoulder to Cooper.

Valerie Cooper was *not* looking forward to the next twenty minutes of her life. In fact, if she could have traded them for twenty minutes with Belasco, in Hell, she would have. [I'm sure it can be arranged if I try, REAL hard.] Her mind noted as she stepped into the main room again and looked for her quarry.

One of the two young women she was looking for was playing chess. [That's an odd game for her to be playing.] Val frowned, then decided to get the other young woman first. [Both are going to be difficult, but SHE is going to be near-murder, I'd think.]

"Hello, Sarah."

The young woman looked up from watching 'Terminator' and blinked. "What do you want?"

"I was wondering, if," Val started a bit nervously. Marrow was enough to make anyone nervous. Odd bone-like structures stuck out all over the young woman's body, making her appear a pin-cushion. "If you'd..." Val let her voice trail off.

"If I'd?" Marrow prompted, looking semi-curious.

Valerie sighed and held out one of the scripts she'd carried in. "Here. I'd like you to read for this part." She carefully pointed to the part of the Salesman.

Several minutes passed as Marrow flipped through the pages, reading under her breath and occassionally glancing across the room at the other person whose name was on the script. Finally, Val cracked. "Well?" She demanded.

"Well, what?" Marrow asked not looking at her.

"Are you going to do this or not?"

"Oh, yeah." Marrow shrugged, then grinned evilly. "I get to try to sell the little pretty frail an 'O'. I'm *definitely* in."

"Oh, good." Val sighed with some relief. "Now, to get your co-star."

----

Five minutes later they were entering the studio, the poor technician got their sound checks and they began.

"Hey, frail." Marrow said.

"CUT!" Val stalked on-set. "No. 'Gal' or 'girlfriend' or 'you'. NOT 'frail'."

Marrow rolled her eyes at Jubilee, who sat sulking on her stool. "All right. Hey, gal."

"Who me?" Jubilee asked.

"SHHHHHH!" Marrow hissed.

"Who me?" Jubilee asked, whispering.

"Riiiiiiiight on, girlfriend," Marrow said softly, then began to sing.
"How would you like to buy an 'O'?
Round and neat
A nearly perfect circle
Tidy and complete
You can sing a pretty song
With it like so:
O! O! O!" She stopped singing. "Isn't that catchy?"

"Ah! *snap*" replied Jubilee, chewing her gum again rather busily.

"So, would you like to buy an "O"? Circular and sweet," Marrow continued, singing and putting emphasis on the 'sweet'.
"'O' looks just like a donut
Really good enough to eat
It'll cost you just a nickel--"

"A *snap* nickel?" demanded Ms. Lee.

"SHHHHHH!" Sarah hissed again.

"Duh. Sorry. A nickel?"

"Riiiiiiiight!" Marrow nodded then began singing again.
"So buy the 'O' and take it home tonight.
Now listen. When you buy this 'O', you get two sounds for the price of one.
You get one sound that you can use for words like
'olive,' 'ostrich,' and 'ox.'
And for no extra money, you get another sound for like 'ocean,' 'over,' 'old,' and 'opening.'" As Marrow reached the end of the phrase, her voice hit a slight crescendo of sound, then dropped back down again to a languid mere-whisper.

"So would you like to buy an 'O'?
I'm opening the door
It's not often that I offer
Well, could you ask for more?
It'll cost you just a nickel--"

"A nickel?" Jubilee asked.

"SHHHHHH!"

"A nickel?" She whispered.

"Riiiiiiiight!" Marrow smirked and continued to sing, her voice dropping into mellow accents.
"So buy the 'O' and take it home tonight.
Don't ask any questions.
Just buy the 'O' and take it home tonight.
You'll really love it.
So buy the 'O' and take it home tonight."

"Cut and that's a wrap!" Val called as the song stopped and Jubilee blinked.

----

Frantic was not the word for it. Neither was frustrated. No, terrified and trapped didn't fit either. The technician watched Val and mentally ticked off these adjectives. Ms. Cooper hadn't figured out the P section beforehand, and was now floundering and scrounging, trying to desperately fit someone into the parts.

"I've already used McCoy, I doubt he'd do another...Need to use HIM later...Drat..." Val mumbled to herself as she stared at the list of heroes.

"Ma'am?"

Val looked distractedly up at the technician. "Yes?"

"Have you decided who to use on this letter?" The dark circles under the young woman's eyes were getting worse. She looked like five miles of badly laid and driven road. There was a sense of pleading about her, *GET THIS OVER WITH* she seemed to be silently screaming.

"Well, no. I think I know who I want to use, but I've already used one of them, so I need to choose another group. Or, I could use one from them and two from another, and..." Val's voice trailed off and, for once, she felt somewhat helpless. She held the list out to the technician who blinked then took it gingerly.

"Well, I think you should use this one. And those two."

Val looked at the three the girl had pointed to and slowly nodded. "That might work. Let me find them and see."

----

"Absolutely not."

"Scott..." Jean shook her head at Val and pulled him off to the side. "I really think this is a good idea. A chance for the public to see us in something other than a bad light." She wheedled.

Scott Summers sighed at his redheaded wife and grinned, "How are you planning to convinve me?"

"Oh," her eyes sparkled evilly. "I'm *sure* I can think of some ways that would. . .convince you."

"How about," he leaned closer and whispered in her ear. Jean laughed at his suggestion, then linked her arm through his and drew them back towards Valerie.

"You'll do it?" Relief colored Val's words and face as they nodded. "Come this way, I've still got to convince one person."

"And our help would be appreciated." Jean interpreted wryly.

"Yes." Val tossed over her shoulder.

----

Jennifer Walters, sometimes known as She-Hulk, cheerfully played a round in the floating poker game. One of many, truth be told, that had sprung up. At the moment, she had a winning hand and her only opponent now was Gambit. A thief, ladies man and card sharp. At least, he'd flirted with her, won the last several hands AND carried himself like someone used to skulking.

"Well, sir?"

He studied her, then studied his hand as their fellow players waited with baited breath. To her right sat the rather tall, thin, smoky personage of Pete Wisdom, self-professed ex-spy and chain smoker. And all-around near-drunkard. Next to him sat Rahne Sinclair, looking nervous and slightly uncomfortable. Pete had dragged her into the game. Kitty Pryde leaned against the back of Rahne's chair and helped her play. So far the wolf-girl had done rather well.

On Jennifer's other side sat a cigar-chomping Logan, next to him sat Gambit. Circled loosely around the table was a group of bored/interested people waiting to see the outcome of this round. After all, Gambit, Logan AND Pete Wisdom? All three were known cardsharks.

"C'mon, Cajun. Make yer choice." Logan said in a raspy voice. He sounded somewhat impatient. But then, he was the one actually winning this round of hands.

"Gambit gonna have to call you, chere."

She smirked slightly and layed her cards on the table. "Read 'em and weep, Cajun. Four of a kind."

"Merde." He spat and tossed his cards onto the table.

Chuckling gleefully, Jennifer raked in the pot and then passed her cards to Rahne, the next dealer.

"Excuse us, folks." Scott Summers leaned into the grouping from next to Gambit. He looked vaguely uncomfortable standing next to the Cajun, but it was about the only spot he could have to look across at She-Hulk.

"What, Cyke?" Logan removed his cigar to smile softly at Jean.

The redhead smiled back and tapped Scott. "Let me handle this, beloved."

Jennifer repressed a grin at the obviousness of what they wanted. After all, with Val hovering in the back, who could miss it? "What is it you need me to do, Ms. Grey?"

The formality made Jean blink, then she recovered. "Play a part in the next skit. Please."

Looking down at the money and chips and various other pieces of flotsam used in the game that she'd won, Jennifer sighed. "Do I have to?" The faintest of whines in her voice.

"I'll watch your pile for ya, Ma'am." A voice announced from behind her. She glanced back at the over-eager look in Jubilation Lee's eyes.

"Don't lose it, please." She instructed, standing to tower over the petite young woman.

The yellow-coated figure eeped slightly, backed up, then snapped her gum and grinned slyly. "Can I play with it, though?"

"Yeah." Jennifer allowed herself a smile before turning and striding off towards Val, Scott and Jean. "Shall we go?"

----

"The next letter after O is P." She-Hulk began after the requisite sound checks. "'The Prose About Penny Pepperpap Pipplepep.' Once upon a time, there was a king who hated the letter P."

"I've never been thrilled by the horrid 'puh-puh' sound." Scott announced, scowling ferociously. "So I hereby rule that NOTHING beginning with the letter P shall ever be allowed in my kingdom." He nodded decisively, then fought a chuckle at the look of semi-surprise on Jennifer's face.

"So, the people of the land tore down their provinces and pools, tossing out their pianos and puzzles. And fairly soon, there wasn't anything in the kingdom that began with P. Or, so they thought, for one day along came. . ." Jennifer paused in her narration and looked at Jean expectantly.

"Me." Jean announced, sounding snazzy and a bit like a used car salesman. "Penny Pepperpap Pipplepep. And I've got a private limo full of parrots, peas, pumpernickle, prawns, puppy dogs and plums."

"What did you say?" Demanded Scott as the King.

"Hi your majesty. Would you like to purchase a pipe organ, or a peck of pickled peppers?"

"Throw this woman into the dungeon!" Scott yelped.

"But why?" Jean objected.

"Because those are all P words. And nothing starting with P is allowed in my kingdom." The King replied.

"Untrue! There's lots of things beginning with P around here."

"Like what?" Scott demanded, suspiciously.

"Well, for one thing, there's the queen over there." Jean pointed discreetly.

"What about her?"

"She's wearing panniers, and that's a very proper P word."

"Um, well, she always told me they were sideways bustles." Scott mumbled.

"And then there's you, your majesty. You're wearing pants and have a pompadour," here Jean fought not to laugh at the thought of Scott in the mentioned hair style. "in your hair and several puppies playing at your feet. And those are terrific P words, too!"

"Gracious! You're right. There's no way of getting away from the letter P. Penny Pepperpap Pipplepep, from now on P words are welcome in my kingdom." Scott nodded regally.

"Perfect!" Jean cried.

"So, the letter P was restored to the land and so were the province's pools, pianos and puzzles, which all goes to prove that you can't get away from the letter P." Jennifer smiled as she finished.

"Perfecto!" Jean said, chuckling.

"Cut! Thanks, folks. It was lovely." Val grinned at them all.

----

As Valerie wandered off to get her next crew, the techniciain wandered back into the kitchen for another cup of coffee.

Several people were apparently having a meeting as she walked in. A secret one, by all guesses, since they all quieted down. She recognised Mr. Clint and Songbird and Karla. The others, she guessed may have been part of the same team. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she ignored them.

The table and chairs were set off in a little breakfast nook, the technician made a beeline for them. Sitting down and resting her tired self sounded just *lovely*.

After talking in low voices, the seven people at the other end of the room began making more noise. It sounded as if an argument was in progress.

"Really, CLINT, we should charge her." Karla Sofen tossed her blonde hair, her hands folded neatly on the table. A coffee cup sat near her right hand, half full.

"Now, Moonstone, you know we can't do that. This was a 'favor'." Clinton Barton reached out and snagged another banana off the stack of fruit. He began pealing it as he made his final point. "And, if it's a 'favor', she'll OWE us."

"Ah." Sofen nodded. "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

Clint snorted, rolled his eyes and bit a large hunk off the banana.

In the background, the tech quietly left the room.

---- tbc

Part Nine
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